Apr 29, 2024

Finding a Safe Place as a PK

PastorsKids.org has had a big impact on not only my Christian walk but also my life in general. As far as my walk with Christ it has provided me with a small group of Christian friends, which genuinely encourages me, meeting with a few friends who I can relate to once a month is amazing, a group that I can laugh with, share my struggles with, celebrate random stuff with, congratulate with, or just say anything to. It is incredibly encouraging to have a safe space where I know what I say will stay there. As far as my everyday life, it has helped me to know I have 3 adults that I can reach out to for prayer, advice, guidance, or anything I need. People that I know aren’t going to advise me differently because of my dad’s job. It has been amazing to have people my age that relate to me, friends that have gone through most of the same things as me.

As a PK we see the good and the bad in church, and it is much easier to see the bad. I mean, we see everything that goes on in the background, we are the first ones that are volunteered for things at church or for people at church who need things done. We are expected to be at church every Sunday morning, every Sunday evening, every Wednesday, and everything in between. If we need advice, it is expected that we go to our dad because “he has all the answers”. He is who everybody in the church looks up to.

I believe that is why burnout for PKs is so high. One-third of all PKs leave the church at the age of 18. Having this group has been amazing. It helps me to know that I’m not alone. It helps me to know that I’m not a horrible person when I’m having doubts about my faith. I love knowing I can ask questions to my friends in this group and not be judged by them. I love knowing that people in this group don’t have many expectations for me to uphold, and I don’t have to ‘act’ like a PK. I can just be me, and not worry about people’s responses. The leaders of this group have been wonderful to me, I don’t have to worry at ALL about judgment from them or backlash. I know I can go to them to talk in a time of need, I can go to them for prayer, I can go to them for whatever is going on.

The way I found PKO (PastorsKids.org) is kind of a weird story. A couple of years after my dad became senior pastor, our church was going through a time of church discipline, and we ended up having to kick a man out of the church. Every week before that he would come home worn out, tired, crying, and ready to be done. I had just become a PK, and learning about how different a lot of things are as a PK was setting in, I was fighting depression and anxiety, but I didn’t want my parents to know, and I hid it pretty well. One night I was up at 3 AM, and it was a Saturday night, and I was dreading church the next day, I just looked up on Google “How to get in touch with pastor kids” and the first link I saw was PKO. I sent in my request to join the group and got accepted the next morning. I then joined my first Zoom meeting a few days later and loved it. It was incredible to have all these PKs from around the world joining together to talk about their struggles with ministry and their struggles with their position. I kept joining after that and looking back I can see how much it has helped me. I don’t know how much y’all get thanked for what y’all do, but I would like to say thank you. It has really helped me, and it has been amazing to be a part of.  I felt welcomed the moment I joined; I will never forget the first post I saw saying “Welcome Josiah! Tell us a little about yourself”, and it felt great to see all the people commenting “Welcome!” And being able to share about myself.

So, thank you all! And thank you for giving me the opportunity to share this with you!

By <a href="https://pastorskids.org/author/josiah/" target="_self">Josiah</a>

By Josiah